Port Aransas

Port Aransas
"I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

For anyone who complains or talks smack about police officers. Please let me introduce you to what it is like to be married to one. I am already wondering, “Will he have to work on Thanksgiving this year?” “Will he have to sleep most of the day?” “ Will he be able to eat with us?” “Will his daughters get to be with their Daddy on Thanksgiving?” And what about Christmas? Is he going to have to go to work on Christmas Eve? Will he be home in the morning before Santa comes? Will he get the thrill of hearing the kids jumping into our bed saying, “Mommy, Daddy, Santa came to our house!!??” How about New Years Eve? Will I get to kiss my husband at midnight and tell him Happy New Year? NOPE! We usually do this over the phone together, which is very heartbreaking to me every single time. Sometimes, he is off for Thanksgiving and Christmas, sometimes not. Never New Years. While everyone is partying it up, he is working to get drunk drivers off the street. That is exactly why I supported his career decision. If he can save at least one person or family from being injured or killed by a drunk driver, my children and I are willing to sacrifice years apart from our husband and father so that other families may continue to enjoy theirs. Sure, he may not get all of them, but I guarantee if you are in his path and you are DWI, you are going down. I am just getting frustrated by the comments that I read that are posted by newspaper websites about police officers. Recently, there was a tragic accident involving an on-duty officer that was killed by a drunk driver who was traveling the wrong way on a major highway. Several readers pointed out that it was ridiculous that the officer’s final services were extravagant and ridiculously publicized. One police officer replied that all of the years he spent working weekends, holidays, missing weddings, reunions, kids birthdays, baptisms, etc., a big deal better be made if he were to have passed away in the line of duty. I totally agree.

My husband has worked the midnight shift for 10 years now and I never get used to being alone. It never gets easier. It just never does. Sometimes I cry when he leaves. I have to be the “married single parent”. It is extremely hard. I have to be the tough wife and be very supportive of him. But I love him so incredibly much that sometimes I am just a woman and have to be sad when I want to be sad. Sometimes when he doesn’t come home on time in the morning and he doesn’t answer his phone I think, “Is this it?” You always try not to worry about “that”, but when you have those late moments, it crosses your mind. And then finally he walks in the door and you are a little relieved to hear, sorry I had to work late, I arrested several people for drugs or DWI or whatever other foolishness ppl got into. And yes, the later he gets home, the less sleep he gets because it is not his only job. He has three others.

Police officers are hardcore. They have to be mentally focused. My husband will not turn down a side job. Any opportunity to make money and support our family is his primary goal. So, we get to spend about a half a day with him on Sunday evenings. Can you imagine how hard it is for him to “turn off the cop switch” for half a day and “turn on the Husband/Dad switch”? It took me a while to get this, but now I do. I understand it. And I finally have accepted that I have to live with it until he retires. It takes a strong woman with an extreme amount of patience to be married to a cop. That is why I never take advantage of any opportunity that I have to spend with him. You have to grab those moments, even if they are just a few for hugs, kisses, or I ♥ you’s. Yes, I get excited when he invites me to “run to Home Depot with him.” Or do yard work with him. Yes, after 15 years together, we still hold hands in the car. I still bring him breakfast in bed. I still get butterflies when he walks in the door. So, the point of me writing this is, when my asshole cop husband writes you a ticket tonight, just remember that he has a story. He has a family at home that loves him and misses him very much. And all we want is for him to come back home safe to us every morning, after every single shift is over.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

This is not so bad!

WOW! So many choices. As I enter the world of blogging, I realize that I have some fierce competition. And.... how in the world do I have a blog viewer from Germany?? I guess one day I will look back at these virgin blogs and LMAO at myself. He he! Well, the kids are home from school and it is a typical Wednesday at our house. My husband sleeps most of the day to gear himself up for his double duty shift aka hell as I like to call it. He has one full-time job and three part-time jobs. He goes into work tonight and then as soon as he gets off in the morning, he goes straight into one of his little side jobs for another 5.5 hours. In August, I got laid off from my job after being employed there for 7.5 years. It hurts, but life goes on. I know that someday I will have a secure, stable job. At least for now, I am receiving my state unemployment benefits, so that definetely helps while I continue to look for a suitable job. While I was employed, we did not live within our means, so this has definitely been a serious wake-up call for our family. We are back to the basics and it sure has given us a swift kick in the a$$.

I decided to start blogging because I think it will be a sort of therapy for me. I have enjoyed writing since I was a young girl. I am hoping that somehow, this will open up new opportunities for me. As I begin to meet new people, I realize that it does not matter what your socio-economic status, your ethnicity, or your relationship status is. We all share the same sort of common problems. We all just want a decent home, a running, reliable vehicle, a good job, someone to love, & someone to call a best friend. If we don't have kids, most of us want them. If we do have them, all we want for them is to do their damn homework, participate in extra-curricular activities (although we whine about having to take them), and to get off of the computer and the video games when we say so!  Right!? But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I always knew I wanted to be someone's wife and have 2 children. And I did!

This will be my first of many "venting" blogs. I hope I can encourage all of the women in my family to follow my path. My 14-year old daughter is already blossoming into an amazing author and writer. She has been creating her own stories on a fictational website for 2 years now. I am so proud of her. :)

Robyn


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My first time

Well, this is my first blog and I am not quite sure how to use it or even how anyone will view or see this. I guess I need to figure this all out.